What am I doing???

I am coming to the point of confusion. Sometime I don’t know what I am doing these days. I suppose studying is main task in my life now. One year theology course, it is not very long but I found that it is very hard to study most of the time. There are 66 books in the bible, 39 in Old Testament and 27 in New Testament. I suppose I have at least read once of each book and roughly have an idea of the purpose of writing of each book, it is a big job. Another struggle I am going through is writing. Writing is an issue for me for very long time. I always take a lot of to write email or other writing staff. I cannot convey my thought systematic and clearly, I feel like I am loser of writing. Actually, I don't have time to self pity, I have exam in 4 weeks time, I need to well prepare all the answer before the exam, otherwise I will failed, very strangle forward.
However, another important life issue is bothering me. I knew that it is not the right time to start it and even think about it. But I can’t stop my thought. Sometime this issue affects my study. Alas, I should focus on God all the time.

Theology Course

I can't imagine that this is week 6 of theology course and I submit two essays.(Although one I have to resubmit and I guess another one need to resubmit as well) Thank God that I got this opportunity to study in theology class and I have a chance to take this great challenge.
I enjoy study the bible in such academic way, it really helps me to explore my vision of the bible and the knowledge of God. However, I struggle very much to prepare class and do the essays. I believe that the course will improve not only the skill of interpret bible, but the writing skill. Writing is my weakest and I really want to improve it. God, please help me.

Principle of Evangelism is my favourite subject because it is a practical subject that teach me how to another some 'THOUGH questions' that non-Christian will ask. For example:
1) Why there is suffering in this world if God is love?
2) Christianity is a killjoy religion...

These really help if I am in the situation that a non-Christian ask these question. SO what is the answer?

1) This is God's world. Suffering and death are not God intended to make in the beginning of the world. God is very sad same as you feel. It was because Evil entered this world and it corrupted every part of the world and humanity, and it leads to death and conflict.
God do not sit down somewhere we cannot see and do nothing, actually, he sent his only Son, Jesus Christ, to come this world and die on the cross and raise 3 days later, it defected the power of Evil. God hate evil as you hate. He promise Jesus will be come back to the earth to bring the judgement and complete the job, restoring the world and humanity. But before the 2nd return of Jesus, suffering still appear because this world still not prefect and it is the consequence of sin. What we can do is align with God and trust in him and he will save us, rather than assert independence of God and condemned.

Humility- I am not!

I have a thought that humility is not going to be a issue for me as a young Christian for last couple of years. As I did not have anything to boost. But I am WRONG! Totally wrong! I am such a sinner in front of God even I believe in Christ. I still have a sinful nature in my earthly body. I proud of my humility, I proud that it is my characters and I forget that I struggle to seek others benefits before me all the time, thank God that I have been reminded by my brother in Christ.
It reminds me that I am just a sinner who strive very hard for humility and other spiritual fruits, I am on the path to be perfect, but I need to keep remind myself I will never reach the destination until the judgement day.
God, please forgive my sin, help me to please you, to glorify you and seek your help all the time, I ask the holy spirit to help me, putting your teaching into practice, Amen!